Anonymous asked: How's school?
The last day was yesterday, the teacher thanked me for all the work I did in the group project and said I deserved 6 credits instead of 4. I have a final on Tuesday and Wednesday. I should be getting an A+, B+, B, and an INC for the classes I took. If the other teacher gives me an F instead of an INC then I will probably be kicked out of college (again). If that happens then I won’t go back. I’ll just do what I actually want to do with my life and dedicate myself to that.
Its a blessing.
Anonymous asked: Is denying because I made a mistake once, but he thinks he is doing nothing wrong so he's not telling me about it? that's messed up I'm unconsciously upset and angry, and it shows like I tried confronted him many times it's never gonna work. & im gonna be with this guy for a long time. You might think I'm crazy or feel bad but I cannot leave. And also the reason the whole social networking hiding thing is upsetting me more is bcuz he's made me so insecure, he thinks he helped me. Advice?
Heyy there. This situation sounds a bit familiar. I’ve had two friends who were in abusive/controlling relationships and in both cases it resulted in the ending of our friendships on their behalf because they deemed their boyfriend/spouse to be more important to them than our friendship (even tho, in the first situation, our friendship began years before and she knew that I’d do absolutely anything for her). Part of the reason she stayed with him is because he made her feel so devalued to the point that she didn’t believe anyone else would want her, she’s unattractive, she’s worthless, she’s damaged goods, etc etc. Meanwhile, she was actually one of the most attractive women I’ve ever met, physically, and she was also intelligent and all that good stuff as well. However, that son of a b*tch of a boyfriend just injected his poison shot by shot, day by day into her until she was confined by and shackled to him.
Personally, there’s no reason, at all, to remain in an abusive relationship. Period. I know some people try to validate the financial aspect of a relationship as reason to remain with a person (i.e. I don’t have a job or family/friends to support me, so without him, I’d be homeless, naked, and hungry). Others use the fear/poor self-esteem excuse as a valid reason to remain with him (i.e. I’m scared that if I leave him then nobody else will ever want me and I’ll be alone forever because I’m not a desirable woman OR I’m just really scared he’s going to track me down and try to harm me if I leave). Others use the time-based reason for validation (i.e. We’ve been together for 4 years already, and if I leave him now, then those entire 4 years would have gone to waste and I would not only not know where to start over but I would feel at a great loss for having invested so much time for no reason). Others use the “yeah, but he’s actually a good guy sometimes” excuse (i.e. Sure, he beats me whether physically or emotionally and tries to control every aspect of my life and I had to forfeit all my other relationships in order to be with him, even tho he gets to keep all his female friends but… hey….he’s really sweet and romantic sometimes so that proves he loves me!).
However, I think all those excuses are bullsh*t. Complete bullsh*t. If he/she is not treating you well, and it has been that way for quite some time now….leave. Period. Leave. Don’t hesitate. Just do it. There is no valid reason to stay in such a relationship. Financial reason or the “we have children” reason: Well, I’m sure you can find at least one friend or family member that is willing to let you stay with them temporarily, until you get your feet on the ground. & If you’re staying because you have children and they need a father figure…no. That’s bullsh*t. The children will be more psychologically damaged by seeing your misery and seeing you being abused than to grow up with/be raised by a single mother (I was raised by a single mother and I wouldn’t have had it any other way). If you’re scared or have poor self-esteem, well, overcome it. There’s at least 3 billion guys in the world, statistically, it is absolutely impossible for at least 1 of those guys not to find you to be incredibly attractive/beautiful. Odds are, multiple multiple people will find you to be visually and emotionally appealing and have hopes to make you their gf/wife. If you’re scared he’s going to track you down, then get a restraining order or give me his address. I’ll set him straight. If your validation is that you’ve invested far too much time with the relationship and just don’t want to abruptly abandon it because you will feel like its been a waste….then, you just have to alter your mindset a bit in regards to how you view the situation. 4 years (or however many years) is a long time, but its not wasted to if you’ve learned from it and grown from it. Likewise, which sounds better: leaving an abusive relationship after 4 years or remaining in an abusive relationship for 65 more years? If you’re one of the “he’s sweet and romantic sometimes so its okay that he beats me or treats me like a slave or property” type of excuse users then….you needa cut that sh*t out ASAP. No amount of charm, gifts, orgasms, or anything else is enough to cancel out a man (or woman) hitting you or harming you mentally/emotionally.
Honestly, there’s just really no excuse at all. Don’t be too proud to ask for some help and don’t let fear cripple you. You, I, everyone, we must progress further in life and we shouldn’t allow anything to hold us back from doing just that.
I know they like to beat ya down a lot
When you come around the block brothas clown a lot
But please don’t cry,
dry your eyes,
never let up
Forgive but don’t forget,
girl keep your head up
And when he tells you you ain’t nothin’,
don’t believe him
And if he can’t learn to love you,
you should leave him
Cause sista you don’t need him
And I ain’t tryin to gas ya up,
I just call em how I see ‘em.”
-Tupac, Keep Ya Head Up
trust2 cares, “if don’t nobody else care”
Anonymous asked: I dream sometimes that instead of being in an abusive relationship somehow, I would meet another guy who would become our mutual friend and who I could connect and be friends with, because at this rate: I have no life no friends I'm controlled cannot wear certain clothes cannot wear makeup except for a little bit, and I cannot do anything really.. Btw he's a pathological liar who has a social networking site which he has been hiding for the past 1-2 years. I confronted him he denied, I think he
*will respond in the reply section of last segment of the ask*
Anonymous asked: much on my plate from possibly not being able to live in this house anymore, to exams this month, to everything :'( I feel really bad, Im not saying I regretted it, but like it wasnt like she was the BESTest friend ever, she was just someone who we shared personal stuff with and were close cause we worked togerther. What do i do? do i just let it go? I cant beg for her friendship back.. but i have to get my mind off this. I'm not thinking about it alot, but it is affecting me unconsc + consc.
Hey what’s up? I definitely know how it feels to just feel disconnect from the people you’re close to, since I was without a phone for about an entire month because it broke and my upgrade wasn’t for another month, so I just toughed it out and waited for the upgrade date. Fortunately enough, it didn’t really adversely affect my relationships since I informed the friends I talk to regularly that my phone is on the verge of being broken and for them to hit me up via skype or oovoo if they wanted to talk. In your situation, the lack of a phone caused one of your friends to believe you were just purposely neglecting her because you didn’t care (If I’m understanding your messages correctly). From my point of view, she has no reason to be angry with you or any reason to believe you’re a bad or fake friend. You didn’t have a phone. What’re you supposed to do? Go to her house every day unannounced to talk to her? Go to the laundromat and ask for $5 in quarters and then try to find a payphone to talk to her each day? Um. No. That’s a little much. I definitely DO NOT believe you should have to beg for anything, ever, especially since you didn’t do anything wrong. What fault is there of yours? None. You don’t have a phone. Can’t really text/call without one of those. You stated that you wrote a long reply to her telling her what happened…so…..I mean what more can you do?
I have some friends (meaning, I’m their friend, but they obviously aren’t mine) that I care about a great deal who, for whatever reason, valid or foolish, who ignore my messages. &…well, once I love someone, I love them and I’m all ears for whenever they hit me up, if they ever need anything. To one extent I know its bad, because that makes me susceptible to being used but, I mean…it is what it is. Undying loyalty. But anyways, usually, I wait for the holidays or their birthdays to hit them up. If they reply, then that’s cool. If they actually show interest in getting our friendship back on track, that’s even better. If they respond with two words and show zero interest in communicating with me, then, I’ll try to use humor or something like that to get them engaged in the convo, but if that doesn’t work…then…I stop trying and say something like: “On that note, I’ll let you go. Its obvious that you really don’t want to be a part of the conversation, let alone continue our friendship. But, I’m here if you change your mind”. & If they don’t respond at all, oh well. I don’t have time for that. No time to cry over an vanishing or extinct friendship. No time to be the only person willing and working towards resurrecting it or nursing it back to health. As you said, you have a lot on your plate and this should be the least of your worries. & If she knows you’re going through such a rough time then…that’s even more of a reason to just let it go if she is trying to call you a fake friend instead of being there for you when you could use a friend.
I’m a let it go but remain open type of fellow. There’s just so many other things that require my energy and attention so…if a friend or supposed friend acts up or disappears or whatever….then…so be it. I don’t have time for that. I’m 23. Gotta bright future to plan and work towards.
Anyways, I hope that everything improves with you. & Feel free to hit me up anytime.
Anonymous asked: meet up in the holidays and she said said honestly i dont have time for people who dont care for me, and arent my friend and i wrote back alot and wrote that i did care for her as a firend, and i do but its just i had no phone and i know that wasnt excuse but could she just forgive me and we could meet up over the holidays? but the chances of her, ever msging back are low. i told her in the msg i would not nag or bother her and just wait for a response back or id give her time. I have way too
*will respond in the reply section of last segment of the ask pt2*
Anonymous asked: I need your advice. So I didn't have a phone and I left my previous job about two months ago. A close close friend I made at that workplace who I helped out was was there for, and she was there for like crazy, I told her when I would get a phone although my situation won't be possible for me to get a phone anytime soon.. I would text/call her, but this is my brothers phone number incase. I just got an app on my ipod and randomly texted her from it, and she said ok whatever, i asked her to meet u
*will respond in the reply section of last segment of the ask*
I feel bad for Arnold’s Mom’s vagina…
he definitely tore that up when he was born.
This pitbull has become incredibly protective over me.
Literally, he will lunge, growl, and snap at anyone who comes near me.
To one extent, I suppose he realizes that I am the person who quite literally saved his life, so he is trying to protect mine from potential threats.
But, on the other hand, its just….not….good since he cannot interact with other people without wanting to tear their faces off or draw blood from their hands and arms.
Anonymous asked: Do you like the movie "Brown Sugar"
Hey there =).
I haven’t seen it in a while but from what I remember, I definitely do like it. As you probably know, since you subscribe to my blog, I’m a big advocate of, I suppose, “pure” Hip-Hop. Hip-Hop with a message, a deeper meaning, music or songs that make you think or reevaluate things or something you can learn from rather than “Hip-Pop” music, which is for partying/dancing to and generally about some frivolous bs and written in a way that is particularly skillful. Likewise, I’m also a big believer in true, enduring/lasting love and believe a large part of that may be derived from a bond/unity that forms from something that may be even deeper than our thresholds of understanding. So, a movie where Hip-Hop and true love is combined into one or where two people are bonded and grounded by a strong, true, mutual love, not only for each other, but in their passion for Hip-Hop and its culture is good stuff.
& Much like how the two main characters can remember and trace their discovery/realization of their love for Hip-Hop and possibly for each other to a moment that forever changed their lives, I, too, can remember the day my life changed forever when I met someone who inspired me to instantly write my first poem ever, having never exactly written one before. So, there’s a sort of, “I can relate to this” aspect of me liking the movie as well.
Ty for your question.
Anonymous asked: Happy Thanksgiving !
Thank you, kind anon.
Same to you.